
OH SHIIIIIIIT
And nobody cares if you’d settle for an invisible handjob, you’re not getting one.
(via magusworkshop)
“Were She an Ethiope”
STEPHEN GREENBLATT: When I was writing the glosses for the Norton Shakespeare, I remember doing the glosses for Much Ado About Nothing and I came to the line in which Claudio says, I would marry her “were she an Ethiope.” So I had to explain what “were she an Ethiope” meant, and I said in the marginal gloss, “Ethiope, i.e., black and therefore, according to the racist Elizabethan stereotype, ugly.”
Now, someone criticized me for being too politically correct by saying “racist stereotype.” But if you’re actually faced with the practical question of how you’re going to gloss the thing, you have to say “Ethiope, i.e., Ethiopian, i.e., black,” that is clear. But if you’re saying I’d marry her “were she an Ethiope,” you have to explain what that means, and you could say “i.e., black and therefore ugly,” but what does that mean if you’re writing a book for a contemporary audience? You have to acknowledge that the values have drastically shifted.
You could also point out, if you were doing a fuller account, that Claudio was actually a very unpleasant character and that happens to therefore qualify this, but it isn’t the whole story. The whole story definitely involves a broader, not just the defects of Claudio’s character, but a certain set of broader Elizabethan understandings that Shakespeare routinely draws upon, often to make paradoxical effects. He loves this black mistress, the dark lady, and he makes much of the fact that he loves her despite the fact that she’s dark and therefore violates the canons of beauty. But you can’t begin to understand this if you don’t understand something about the values of Shakespeare’s time and also recognize that they’re not necessarily our values.
—Stephen Greenblatt, Cogan University Professor of the Humanities, Harvard University
Joss Whedon’s Much Ado About Nothing comes out tonight, and I wanted to quote this passage because this very racist line is included in the film. It didn’t have to be, filming or staging Shakespeare means cutting a lot of dialogue (unless you’re Kenneth Branagh and want a movie with an intermission). What’s more,an anti-semitic line in the film was pointed cut (Benedick saying, of Beatrice, “If I do not love her, then I am a Jew”).
In the film, this line is framed very pointedly. As Claudio speaks it, a black woman is framed in the background, making it particularly clear who is being slurred. This deliberate shot is abrupt and unsettling, which contributes to it becoming a laugh line for most audiences. (The audience I saw this with was mostly white; I don’t know the makeup of other preview audiences that have reported laughter.) In defending this shot, Whedon has compared this to something that might happen in The Office (interview)
But while it might seem similar on the surface (close enough to encourage laughter by recognizing the form) there are some very important differences. The Office features several characters of different races, all of whom are characterized as having complex lives that overturn the tokenism that American corporate bureaucracy (as embodied by Michael Scott) wants to reduce them to. In contrast, all of the speaking roles and a wide majority of the extras in Much Ado are white. The black woman in this shot isn’t seen before or after, and isn’t particularly in focus while Claudio speaks either. She exists only to be slurred by one of the leads.
Whedon is also struggling against the narrative of Shakespeare’s original source, which wants to unite its opposing forces into honor and harmony. Whedon does a good job of showing Claudio’s turn to the dark side, but by the time the slur comes around, Claudio has done his penance and is being redeemed. That’s not a narrative that The Office generally worries about (outside of the Pam & Jim’s story, which is a more traditional romantic comedy plot).
It creates a very pointed hierarchy. Shaming a white woman at a public wedding is a grievous sin that must be redeemed, but shaming a black woman at a public wedding, eh we’ll just let that slide because she’s not the bride (never the bride) and we’re running out of time.
One reviewer argued that the message of The Office is “Yes, racism still exists, but you are not alone.” But what we see in that moment of Much Ado About Nothing is that the black woman is completely alone; she is isolated, out of focus, denied a voice, in that shot, and in the rest of the movie as well. But for the cast of white characters, well, it’s a bit awkward, but hey, you know, Claudio’s a good guy. He was really sad at that funeral. Besides, do you even know who that woman is? I mean, are you sure she was invited, because I haven’t talked to her.
I don’t know what other people think when they see that shot. I suspect that many feel, without even thinking about it, that with the tension of the moment, and the similarity to other, better, comedies about race, laughter was necessary and appropriate. But I know that what I was thinking was that woman probably spent a long time getting ready, choosing her dress, getting her hair made up, feeling really pretty, and then suddenly everyone was looking at her while the groom said black women are ugly and terrible.
I didn’t laugh.
I was at the Aero last night for a double-feature of Ray Harryhausen’s first two Sinbad movies. The Golden Voyage of Sinbad features Tom Baker (aka The Fourth Doctor) as the evil magician antagonist. This was really my favorite moment of it.
(Warning for some terrible yellowface.)
i WANT AN OTAMATONE THEYRE SO ANNOYING
I am obligated to reblog this on the grounds that it is insanely annoying and I want it.
oh my god. i cannot stop laughing
oh my god they’re really cute and i;m laughing so hard
The top comment on the YouTube video says all you need to know:
i found a way to make my headache worse
I WANT ONE
I WANT ONE SO BADLY
Get one for me too pls
We can have haunting duets
Reblogging this because this gif was next on my dash and I just stared at it while listening.

Ray Harryhausen (1920 - 2013)
The King of Stop-Motion: Ray Harryhausen Remembered
Over the next week, come be swept away in a series of films remembering the work of special effects pioneer Ray Harryhausen, a man who brought his imagination to vivid life on the silver screen. His is a name goes hand-in-hand with movie magic, the man who brought sword wielding skeletons, dinosaurs and giant apes, flying saucers and mythical creatures to life for all of us to enjoy and be thrilled by.
Born in Los Angeles, Harryhausen defined the art of stop-motion and split screen effects techniques working on films such as MIGHTY JOE YOUNG and THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS. His career spanned decades and he was awarded an honorary Academy Award in 1992. The Pixar crew even paid him a compliment by naming a restaurant in MONSTERS, INC. after him.
This comprehensive series features the majority of Harryhausen’s most famous and loved contributions, in double features (and even a triple feature!) co-presented by the Visual Effects Society (VES).
While there will be later posts highlighting some of the programs individually, here is a quick overview of the entire series. All films will be screened at the Aero in Santa Monica.
Thursday, June 6 - 7:30PM
THE 7TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD (1958 - DCP) with THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD (1973 - 35mm)
Friday, June 7 - 7:30PM
A triple feature with THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND (1961 - DCP), ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. (1966 - 35mm) and THE VALLEY OF GWANGI (1969 - 35mm).
Saturday, June 8 - 7:30PM
JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS (1963 - DCP) with CLASH OF THE TITANS (1981 - 35mm)
Sunday, June 9 - 5:00PM
EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS (1956 - DCP) with FIRST MEN IN THE MOON (1964 - 35mm)
Monday, June 10 - 7:30PM
THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS (1953 - 35mm) with MIGHTY JOE YOUNG (1949 - 35mm)
I’m currently going to the Sinbad movies on Thursday, and the Greek mythology movies on Saturday. Thursday is an early Father’s Day event for me, because I remember watching these films with my dad and sister when we were kids.
I just learned that the spinoff of Inspector Spacetime was Peacemist: Nicer Post and now I can’t work.
Clarifying further for those who still don’t get what happened.
(via kiriamaya)
(via zarhooie)
“At first, I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.”
*Spits everywhere*
You’re not a TRUE 1990s kid unless you remember the Eugenics Wars, so here’s some 90s Kid Khan for your viewing pleasure.
(via evilwashian)
killingforsport-eatingthebodies:
what the fuck is that
what the fuck is that
what the fuck is that
what the fuck is that
what the fuck is that
what the fuck is that
what the fuck is that
what the fuck is that
what the fuck is that
what the fuck is that
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
Pony, by Tim Lewis














